Rain
by Yukiiro
Summary: Oneshot. After the arrival of the arrancar, Ichigo is tormented by his inner hollow. And on an evening filled with rain, he's forced to face his fear of being taken over by him, with no one to bring him back to sanity should he lose.


AN: My first oneshot, written for a friend who really loves Hichi. Set after the arrival of the arrancar but before Ichigo goes to see the vizard, so there are mild spoilers for that part. I wrote this as something that happened then, but wasn't told in the series. If you know of the Bleach musicals, I highly recommend listening to the Ichigo rain songs from No Clouds in the Blue Heavens while reading. They really helped me write this.

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It was raining. Ichigo didn't look outside, but he could hear it, beating against the windows in a steady downpour. He was certain it was raining _there_, too, but _there_ wasn't a place he wanted to think about right now. That voice didn't leave his head lately. If he was lucky, he could quiet it, but it was always present, taunting him, promising to break his spirit and his sanity.

_"What's wrong? Ready to give up yet?"_

"Go away." Ichigo's reply didn't hold the conviction it usually did. He was exhausted, too much so to hide it anymore.

_"Ha! You're breaking down. It won't be long now until that body's mine. And then I'll crush you, the way you want to crush me."_

"Shut up." He turned over, facing the door. Normally Yuzu's voice would be drifting through the hall, with Karin's replies following shortly after, but they weren't home. He was alone, and for once, he felt it was better. Best that they didn't see him like this.

_"Hey, how about I take over for a while? Maybe if you let me have some fun, I'll let you keep control just a little bit longer."_

"Shut _up_!" More than just tired, Ichigo was growing increasingly tired of fighting. He couldn't keep up this constant battle of wills forever. There were times when it was almost tempting to give up just to silence that voice, but he reminded himself every time of just how much he had to fight for. "Ichigo" couldn't limit himself to protecting just one thing anymore.

Who decided he could carry so much weight, anyway? Who decided that he was strong enough? He didn't feel strong at all, but despite that, he couldn't bring himself to put any of his burden on anyone else. The hollow couldn't continue his taunting relentlessly. He would have to stop sometime. Maybe, if...

_"If you can just keep from fighting that long I'll stop? Is that what you're thinking? Stupid! I won't quit that easily! I can see how close you are to giving up, and I'll be waiting when you do!"_

Ichigo sat up at the abnormally loud outburst, clutching at his head. He could feel the hollow trying to take control with unusual determination. Beneath his fingers, black began to spread across his eye as the voice grew louder.

_"You see!? How weak you are!? You can't keep fighting me! I'll destroy you!"_

"Go away! Just disappear!"

_"You're pathetic! Completely pathetic! Come on, King, give me a better fight than that!"_

Despite how much he had to struggle to suppress the hollow's control, Ichigo was aware that he was holding back. It was as though he was taunting him rather than trying to take over, showing him how futile fighting was. Maybe he was right. Ichigo knew he was stronger than he felt. He knew he could fight harder, but felt as though he was losing the desire to, and with it his strength to. _Keep fighting_. He repeated it in his mind, again and again, willing himself not to give up. He couldn't, especially not now. Not yet.

_"Ha! Is this really your limit!? This is the best you can do!? This is too easy, Ichigo! How about this? When I take over that body of yours, the first thing I'm gonna do is get rid of those people you're obsessed with protecting! One by one, and I'll make sure you watch! And if that's not enough, I'll destroy you afterwards! Come on! Still not going to fight me!?"_

"Leave me alone!" He _was_ fighting. He was trying his hardest, but the hollow was equally increasing his own strength. "Just get out of my head!" That cold, high pitched laughter rang out in his mind again. "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

_"Too bad, Ichigo! You lose!"_

Ichigo held on as long as he could, crying out with a terror and desire to defeat the hollow that he suddenly felt overwhelmingly as the numbness of despair faded. The scream became something high, inhuman, echoing against the walls of his bedroom. His vision clouded with black, and for a moment, he felt as though he were falling, a white blur rushing past him to take over as the hollow's mask formed. He was acutely aware, suddenly, that he was losing control. "GO AWAY!"

The laugher rose again, continuing for longer than before. Ichigo couldn't tell if it was in his head or if it was him laughing, but slowly, he realized that it was fading. It grew quieter until only the echoes remained, and the sound of his own ragged breathing became audible, his vision clearing. He had won, somehow, for now, if only by his own desperation. Falling back against the bed, Ichigo stared at the ceiling, clenching his hand into a fist and becoming aware that his entire body was shaking. And outside his window, the rain fell even harder, showing no signs of stopping.

--

AN: I hope everyone liked it! Criticism would be appreciated - "this sucks" wouldn't be. I've decided I really like writing oneshots, so I'll be happy to take requests. I can't guarantee I'll write them, but suggestions would be very much appreciated. I don't write yaoi -ducks bricks- (Sorry! I really don't have anything against those of you who write it or read it!), but I'm open to suggestions.


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